aerdran: (Madison)
I suppose it was only a matter of time, but I was hoping to avoid getting sick. Madison's had her cold, Allyn's been stuffy, and John's been sick the past couple days, but I've been fine up until today. It's not too bad at this point, just a hint of stuffiness, headache, and a slightly scratchy throat, but chances are it will get worse. That does suck, but I can live with it. I get sick every winter, after all, though usually with a cold and not the flu. Let's keep it that way.

We went out driving to look at Christmas lights for awhile last night, which was neat. We drove up through Northwood, which is a somewhat ritzy area. Surprisingly, there were a lot of houses without lights, which is unusual for Northwood, but there were some very nice displays. I can't imagine how much some people spend on decorations come this time of year. Hell, I know if I had the money, I'd be going all out. As it is, we have a nice display ourselves, due to certain people being sweet enough to start us on that last year. If it weren't for people like Mikel and crea, we'd be lightless outside. John's not the most ambitious about putting these things up, although he's bought light sets before just for that reason. Go figure.

Bait's been making some good money helping people do these things in the neighborhood. He's getting quite the reputation around here due to the work he started doing in people's yards. I'm really proud of how he's gone out and done all of these things of his own volition. Of course, if it doesn't start snowing, business will taper off since the putting up of lights is about done and there's little yardwork to be done without having to shovel snow. Hopefully we'll get some, because I want a white Christmas, damnit!

I think I'm going to try to snooze for a bit now. This chair is comfy and the baby is sleeping, so I have a little time. Wish me luck!
aerdran: (Default)
Woo, what a day. Actually, more like what a night. John got home later than expected, and we had to go to Wal-Mart to go shopping for some things, including coats for the kids. It's always a treat taking the kids to the store. Madison stayed here to be watched by Becky and well, just about everyone else, and I tell you that it can be hard to leave the baby when you're a new mom. It's not that I worry that something is going to happen to her or anything since she has so many competent people watching her, it's just that I miss her. But I managed to survive.

We did fill a cart full of stuff, though. We got Madison her Christmas present from Jason since he knew just what he wanted to get her, and we got some more stuff for the baby, including the essentials such as diapers. We also found this cool bear that, when you turn it on, makes womb sounds to help comfort the baby. She seems to be rather fascinated with it. It's also cool because it has a velcro strap to attach it to the side of the crib so it doesn't pose a risk to the baby by falling on her face or something.

I did take her in to see Cult for awhile earlier today, and laid her on the bed next to him at one point, telling him I needed to use the bathroom. Yes, I did that on purpose. See, I wanted him to know that I trust him alone with her, and figured that was the best way to do it. He looked rather unsure when I did it, but I didn't give him a chance to protest too much. I'm sneaky that way. I spent a little over five minutes away from them, and when I went back into his room, he was lying on his side next to her and just watching her. I doubt that he took his eyes off of her for even the briefest of moments. She was even smiling at him. I think that it did help him to feel better about it all around. Hopefully this will help him to feel better about himself. The one thing I wish I could give him for Christmas is a sense of self-worth, because he sure as hell both needs and deserves it. Maybe Madison will help him with this. I think she has a shot, I really do.

Friday is Allyn's birthday, which is odd to me. She's going to be 15 years old. I have a hard time looking at her and seeing a blooming adult. She's still my little girl in my eyes. It's hard for me to see my kids grow up. Even with my two older boys it was weird, and I adopted them in their teens. Bait was more difficult in that respect because he was so vulnerable when I started taking care of him. He still is at times, although I think he's starting to get past some of it. It can be hard, because I don't feel like he needs me like he used to, which is a common thing with parents, I'm sure. But I know that there are times he does really need me, and I'm glad to be there for him. He still has bad dreams at times, and there are other times that his leg still bothers him immensely, and then I can feel all motherly and take care of him.

So yeah. I'm in and odd mood, I think. Not a bad one at all. I can't be in a bad mood, Christmas is coming. I still have decorating and baking to do. And cuddling. There is much cuddling to be done.
aerdran: (Default)
I just got through watching an episode of Third Watch on tape, and it was an interesting and pretty thought provoking one. Racism loomed large. It started with the paramedic partners, Doc (black) and Carlos, going to a shooting at a restaurant. Some people died and Doc worked on a young black waitress. Got her to the hospital, yadda yadda, and all the news programs mentioned was a white teacher who died. Everyone else was "the others." This rankled with Doc, which I can understand, and he started seeing the sorts of more subtle racism that faced him, including with police. It was hard for me to understand, which isn't surprising at all. I've never lived it, but it's pretty damn awful. I've heard of many different occasions from Mikel, Doug, and other black friends, and it continues to boggle my mind. How, why, all those questions cross my mind when I think of these things. How can people still think that way and why is it still accepted in certain circles (read: police)? It's not just a thing you hear about on TV, folks. It happens. I've been around when it's happened to friends. I can't understand it. I see these friends of mine who are so great and all, and then I look at people outside of our group, out in the public, and how they look at these people that I love so much. It's not right, it really isn't. When will it change?

I hope so much that things change soon. I have two boys, two African American boys that I've adopted. Well, they're not boys anymore, the youngest is 18 now. He still lives here, and I go out into the big, bad world with him, and I see those looks. Distrust, fear, anger, and yeah, hatred. It pisses me off no end, it really does. Why should he get those looks just by walking down the street and doing nothing? It's sickening, it really is. Nobody asks or even seems to care just how great he is. Nobody wants to know just how good he is with his little brother Jason or how he'll jump in John's face to defend me. Or how he does everything he can for me when I'm tired or not feeling well. Why don't those things matter?

Then there's Doug. Hell of a poet and really a great guy. He's been through Hell and back on more than one occasion. Then Mikel, who I can't begin to say enough about. He's my best friend and has done more for me than I can ever say. I can't say enough good about any of these terrific people. And to think that there are people out there who won't look past the colour of their skin just makes me mad. Of course, those people are the ones missing out, but it doesn't keep me from feeling this way. The world is full enough of hate as it is, why feel it for people who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it? That kind of ignorance is just beyond me. So many stories I've heard from so many minorities and it still surprises me sometimes. When can the world get past these things?

I'd say the human race sucks, but you know what? That generalization just doesn't cut it. I know some of the best people in the world. I guess that saying about one bad apple really does tend to run true, doesn't it? I'm just glad that my overall experiences have been so good. I wish everyone could be so lucky.

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